Kumnandi ku-2018, kuyaphiliswana kuma-relationships.
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GIRL 1: “Hey, ngithole inamba yakho efonini kaSiya. UZanele lo okhuluma naye, naye ujola nawe angithi?”
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GIRL 2: “Ja, uSlie lona. Yebo ngijola naye uSiya.”
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ZANELE: “Uyazi ngifica ku-clean endlini, nguwe yini obukhona?”
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SLIE: “Nope, ngigcine ngoKhisimusi mina. Awubuze uNomsa uma’ wengane, mhlawumbe nguye. 071 263…”
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*UZanele afonele uNomsa (baby mama)*
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ZANELE: “Hi, ukhuluma noZanele, lo ojola no-baby daddy wakho.”
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NOMSA: “Oh, ja ngiyakwazi. Ngike ngazibona izithombe zakho efonini yakhe. Ngiyayithanda i-short hair yakho ‘yazi.”
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ZANELE: “Ncooh, ngiyabonga girl. Awusho, uwena yini obusendlini? Ngisho ngoba ngifica ku-clean, ngifuna ivest emhlophe ebikubhaskidi wezimpahla kanye nezicathulo ebeziphansi kombhede.”
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NOMSA: “Ivest isewodrophini kulezi nto ezi-ayiniwe zagoqwa kahle. Izicathulo zibheke ngenhla, khona lapho ngaphansi kombhede ngakwi-side elilala ubabakhe.”
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ZANELE: “Ey, wayidlala girl! Ngiyabonga. Bengikhathele, bengingeke ngilunge yi-washing.”
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NOMSA: OK, love ayikho inkinga. Angiwa-ayinanga amabhulukwe, ubowaqedela doll.”
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ZANELE: “Alright, will do.”
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*UZanele afonele uSlie*
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ZANELE: “Thanks, ngimtholile.”
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SLIE: “OK, sthandwa. You’re welcome.”

If She Doesn’t Introduce You To Her Parents,
Chamela Phakath Bazozfikela Bona Bezokbona

Me to my side chick:
“Yazi mina am too old for breakups, so if luphelile kuwe uthanda its fine sizathandana ngololu olwami ngoba lusesekhona lona.”

Bamba la ngsekhathi uNkulunkulu edala ilanga wayenenhloso ngalo yokuthi lizokhanyisa nsuku zonke emini,nangempela ukuze sibe nokukhanya emini ingoba ilanga lisuke likhona.
Engfuna ukubambeke nakhu ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi lalidalelweni nsuku zonke ilanga emhlabeni liyasikhanyisela,noma kungaba namafu kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kufaneke liphume likhanyise,noma izulu lingaduma libe nezimvula ngeke ulibone ilanga lithi awuthi ngphindele emumva ngoba liyaduma kodwa liyaqhubeka ukusikhanyisela.

Lalelake ilanga alishintshi noma kukhona amafu amnyama esbhakabhakeni Ngeke ubone sekusebusuku emini.
Umuntu kuphela emhlabeni othi mayefikelwe izikhathin zobumnyam ezinzima bese elahla ithemba,umuntu kuphela othi uma edibana nezingqinamba empilweni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi wayedalelweni,futhi umuntu kuphela othi mayehlangana nabangani,noma nabantu abahlukahlukene emhlabeni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi kambe mina ngfunani,khumbula ngithe ukuba khona kwamafu amanyama emkhathin ngek lokho kwalenza ilanga labuyela emumva ngoba liyazi ukuthi kumele lisikhanyisele.

Mtaka baba nawe bengthanda namhlanje sengathi ungalibuka ilanga bese ucabangaka ukuthi kulobobumnyama ohlangene nabo,noma lezonyembezi,lolosizi obhekene nalo aluzanga ukuzokushabalalisa impilo yakho kodwa luzokubheka ukuthi mangabe sifike empilweni yakho ngeke ukhohlwe yini ukuthi ufunani,khumbula ngthe mina noma imvula ina,noma izulu liduma kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kambe emhlabeni ngangizokwenzani liyaqhubeka likhanyise.

Namhlanje ngthanda ukukhuluma nawe ulahliwe,ushonelwe abazali bakho bonke,ukhala izinyembezi umsebenzi ungawutholi,usufake ama Cv yonke indawo kodwa ungaphenduli,ngzokhuluma nawe waliwe uphoxwe umuntu obumthanda,ngzokhuluma nawe eskoleni kungacaci kahle,omakhelwane bekuhleba,bekubukela phansi,ungenayo imali yokudla,ungenamuntu ongakhalela kuye,bekuhleka,bekhombisana ngawe ngamakhanda bethi uyagula unegciwane,sebekushilo ukuthi ngeke uthole umshado kodwa namhlanje ngfuna ukuthi uthathe lesikhathi esincane bese ubuka phezulu nasemhlabeni ukuthi akukhanyi yini.Ngithe kuwe isimo noma sinjani ilanga elibhekene naso alikhohlwa ukuthi emhlabeni kumele kukhanye,nawe ngane yakwethu ungavumeli izimo ezenzeka empilweni yakho ukuth zikwenze ukhohlwe ukuthi ufunani.

Ziyashintshashintshana izimo ngaphansi kwelanga uthole kunamafu amnyama,liduma,lina kodwa lona lilokhu likhanyisile…. nawe noma zingashintshana izimo phezu kwalowo mzimba wakho ungakhohlwa ukuthi yini Ofuna ukuyizuza empilweni

Some relationships though
Him: Bbe fon yam ayifun ukusebenza
Her: Ifana nawe njena

Omunye ujaha nango engena ebhasini esiya ekhaya. Sekubhadalwa wathi conductor ngizakunika imali sengisehla kathesi ngihlezi kubi. Yebona yee ibhasi yadla phansi. Wezwakala sememeza I bus stop yakhe ujaha . Bathi bhadala phela wabe ephuma ebhasini ngenkalakatha yejubane ebaleka engabhadalanga. U conductor wamhlala izithende emuva kwakhe. Ujaha lwana wabaleka eqonda emathuneni ememeza esithi khulu vuka sengikuphathele inyama nansi. Uconductor esizwa lelo watshibilika wabaleka ebuyela ebhasini. Unkunzi wasala ehlekelela esithi ngizakwenza mfana. Elokhe esamile khonapho wezwa ilizwi ebunyameni lisithi Sengivukile ingaphi phela Inyama yakhona. Yeyi wabaleka waze wadlula uconductor esiya ngena ebhasini

Uthi umnika uSwidi umuntu onuka umlomo,
avele awfake ephaketheni athi ngzowudla ekhaya

Kulonyaka siyolala yini, nangu uDr Malinga uthule nje akasinik kwasignal nje lokhu.

Ngeke sishade sonke bafethu.
Buka nje Aunt Caroline ubhiz ne rice