In a taxi from Beitbridge to
Johannesburg…
A young man sitting on the front sit
answers his phone “Babey ngise taxin eya
eFree State for the weekend ngiyabuya
monday!”
# after he hangs up#
The lady sitting behind him answers her
phone and said “Hey dear… ngise taxin eya
eKlerksdorp ku interview I’ll call you later!”
# immediately after she hangs up#
A young lady at the back seat answers her
phone “Mama ngisendleleni ngiya
eMafikeng.
The old man sitting next to her at the back
screams “ENTLEKE lamasimba etaxi ayaphi
vele yeeee!!!!

Bese belengisa i-mask ngaphansi kwesilevu usuku lonke, kube sengathi bazoyifaka uma i-Corona sebeyibona ingena ngomnyango.

Se like lananzelela yini ukuthi ireaction yokuhleka kumacomments ikhamisa kakhulu ukudlula amanye.?

Yaz abe mubi umuntu
angafanelwa ama’Earphone

*Mxolisi:* _”Hey baby, ngi lana kini ngaphandle. Ukuphi?”_

*Gugu:* _”Eish baby, sorry angikho ekhaya ngila e-Jo’burg ngihambe izolo. Bow’funani?”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Eish, ag no it’s fine baby. I wanted to see you, ngino Ten Thousand Rand.”_

*Gugu:* _”Eh, baby!.. Okay just give me five minutes, I’ll be there!”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Hawu, 5 minutes from e-Jo’burg baby?”_

*Gugu:* LOL _”No, relax-a baby. Silana kwamngane wami, sithi kuse Jo’burg. It’s just two blocks away from ekhaya, ngiyeza now now my love.”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Okay ke baby, sizokulinda.”_

*Gugu:* _”Hawu nizongilinda? Kanti uhamba nobani?”_

*Mxolisi:* LOL _”Oh eish, sorry s’thandwa sami. Ngino Lindo, umngane wami wase Thekwini. Uyam’khumbula mos, angithi? We call him u ‘Ten Thousand Rand’ sometimes.”_

SIKUJWAYELE LOKHU NJENGABANTU ABAMNYAMA:
–
1. Silobole kuphele 5 years, umshado dololo.
–
2. Abazihluphi nge-divorce, they just separate for the rest of their lives.
–
3. Bahlezi be-late emasontweni, emsebenzini and everywhere else ngaphandle uma kuyiwa ebumnandini, especially when “Club entry is free before 11pm.”
–
4. I-Diabetes siyibiza ngoshukela.
–
5. I-toothpaste yonke ekhona ibizwa nge-Colgate.
–
6. Ubathola be-driver imoto etown, ivuliwe amawindi ngisho kuthiwa liyana ngoba befuna ukubonwa or umuntu abamaziyo khona bezombingelela.
–
7. Emicimbini baswenka beconse khona bezobukwa, kodwa abafiki nazipho (presents).
–
8. Umndeni nomndeni kuba khona isihlobo esine-criminal record.
–
9. Uma befa bashiya izikweletu, engabe bashiya amafa.
–
10. Uma bephukelwe yifriji balenza ikhabethe.
–
11. Uma begugelwe yiphentihosi balenza iduku.
–
12. Ushaye u-callback uthi ungibhazile.
–
13. Ugugelwe yithawula ulenze isikorobho.
–
14. Isitsha se-Rama siphatha ngaso ukudla emsebenzini.
–
15. Steelwool senziwe u-cricket.
–
16. Umbhede usekwe ngezitini.
–
17. Ibhodlela le-mayonnaise siliphendula ibhodlela likasawoti kumbe lika-curry powder.
–
18. Sigeza sizikhuhle ngesaka lama-orintshi.
–
19. Ama-corn flakes kuthiwa ama-Kellogs.
–
20. RSVP, asiyazi leyo nto. It’s either siyafika or asifiki, usuyobona nawe.
–
21. Sithenga izicathulo ezibizayo bese sihlobisa nge-cardboard lakhona.
–
22. Container ye-yoghurt 1kg uma isiphelile sifaka kuyo steelwool, skirpoto nensipho yokugeza izitsha.
–
23. Isaka lempuphu liphenduka ivovo lokuvova utshwala besintu.
–
24. Isigubhu se-Powerade siphatha ngaso i-juice esikoleni. (Phika phela)
–
25. Isigubhu sika-2 litha we-juice/wamasi sifaka kuso imbiza yokuchatha.
–
26. Uma kuphela impuphu sibiyele ingadi ngesaka lempuphu.
–
FAKA OKWAKHO NAWE SIHLEKE SONKE

I was dancing the Thuso Phala dance this past long weekend then i heard someone saying ‘hela monna otswa amanzi…’

Police:knock knock
Nyaa: Ngubani
POLICE:ngabantu bomthetho
Nyaa:nifunani.????
POLICE:phuma sixoxe
Nyaa:nibangaki.???
POLICE:singu two
Nyaa:Xoxani lowu Two mina ngisalele.

I just did 5 push ups😊 now I feel like starting a fight
msun yenu nonke.. wozani la✊