Who stole my meat

Whites: it’s not me

Blacks: Mina?? Bodweni 😨?? Haiikhona

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Ngisathi ngiyokolotisa emakuleni…

Ngathola kuno My friend omusha….

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Wakhala umama ku Tsotsi Film wathi “John vuligate” 😭nenza ngath niva bhlungu mara namuhla ni jayiva ngetinyembeti takhe maye kepha ngeke nilbone izulu nina😭😭😔

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Ladies sometimes you have to surprise your mother-in-law and send her your nudes and be like “Bona ngwana wa hao o ja fresh jwang!!”

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Ube mubi utsi noma solahlekile
Bakuphike

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Ngibona ebeka amanzi, waphuma akangithumi uyahamba uyuba necoke, wenza ijuice qeda uphuza ubisi sengiyabuya uthi ayi bengithi ngenxa itiye istress siyangibulala

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UThimothi uthwele kanzima estobhini sebhasi usindwa ama-suitcase akhe amabili, ngalowo mzuzu kuqhamuke enye insizwa ithi kuye, “Uxolo mfowethu, bengisacela ukubuza isikhathi.”

Aphefumulele phezulu uThimothi, abeke phansi ama-suitcase bese ubuka iwashi lakhe esihlakaleni, “Isikhathi manje, it’s quarter to six.” Kuchaza yena.

“Hey, laze lalihle iwashi lakho!” kubabaza le nsizwa.

Amamatheke uThimothi, “Ja, lona alithusi. Buka la.” Asho akhombise le nsizwa ama-time zones akwamanye amazwe, hhayi ama-time zones nje kuphela kodwa nesimo sezulu kulawo mazwe.

Athinte izinkinojana kuleli washi bese kukhuluma izwi lithi, “The time now is twelve ’til six!” Lasho leli zwi lisho ngendlela okukhuluma ngayo abantu baseNgilandi. Aqhubeke athinte izinkinojana zewashi uThimothi, izwi lisho okuthile ngesiJaphani. Athi uThimothi, “Lapha ngifake amazwi ahlukahlukene kuye ngokuthi ufuna ukuthola ulwazi lwakuliphi izwe.”

Display yaleli washi yayimangaza, yayiveza kucace konke kuthi bha ngingasayiphathi-ke eyezwi elikhulumayo kuleli washi. Le nsizwa ebuze isikhathi yathatheka, yayisilifuna leli washi.

“Akukhona lokho kuphela.” Kusho uThimothi. Asho athinte izinkinobho futhi, kuvele ibalazwe (map) laseThekwini, “Lama chashaza abhanyazayo aveza ukuthi sime kuphi, asebenzisa i-satellite positioning.”

“Ngiyalifuna leli washi, ngifuna ukulithenga!” kusho lo mlisa obebuze isikhathi.

“Cha bo, alikakulungeli ukudayiswa leli washi. Ngasalungisa amaphutha elinawo.” Echaza umsunguli. “Buka la.” Eqhubeka ekhombisa le nsizwa iwashi lakhe ukuthi liyakwazi ukudlala umsakazo (FM radio), likwazi ngisho ukuqopha izwi uma umuntu ekhuluma kanti futhi ungakwazi nokufunda imiqhafazo (SMSes), uphinde ufunde nezincwadi ezeqile ku-200, “Kodwa mina ngisafake ezingu-32 engizithandayo.” Kuphetha uThimothi.

“Kumele ngilitholile leli washi!” Kusho le nsizwa ingasabambeki.

“Cha bo, awuqondi. Alikakulungeli ukudayiswa…”

“Ngizokunika R1000 njangamanje!”

“Cha, libiza kakhulu kunalokho.”

“Ngizokunika R5000!”

“Kodwa alikakulungeli…”

“Ngizokunika R15 000!” Yasho yadonsa i-cheque book le nsizwa.

Athule uThimothi acabange, yena cishe usebensise R7 500 ukwakha leli washi. Ngalo R15 000 angakhanda amawashi amabili mhlampe ayobe esekulungele ukudayiswa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha.

Le nsizwa iqede ukubhala isheke itatazela, ilithathe iliphayizise ebusweni bukaThimothi, “Nali isheke, ngizimisele ukukunika lona njengamanje. R15 000, take it or leave it!”

UThimothi kwadingeka athathe isinqumo ngokushesha, “OK.” Washo elikhipha esihlakaleni iwashi lakhe bashintshiselana, yaqala yahamba ijabule le nsizwa.

“Hey, mana lapho!” kumemeza uThimothi, aphenduke umlisa emangele.

UThimothi akhombe ama-suitcase amabili lawa kade emsinda, “Ungakhohlwa ama-battery akho!”

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Futhi-ke eyami inkolo ayingivumeli ukuthi ngi-celebrate i-Valentine’s Day, 😙 infact Hommmmm…

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Whites: No sweety don’t eat that
.
Blacks: Yeeey wena phuuuu kaka

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Even if Jesus can come and say Nigerians Profets are fake

South Africans , still gonna say “unamanga lo uhlushwa umona”
🙉🙉🙉 awuu shem !!

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After world cup final
Him:Bae cela ukukubona today
Her:Ngisabuka ama Idols😂😂

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Ungene ngeVosho kwi-Relationship yabantu kant
Baydlela iTreatment uphume usunyonyoba nge Walk yePhara

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Divorce is for rich people.
Imagine going to court
libanga amazenge omkhukhu leZkaftin ze
ice creamHayibo stick together once*

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